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Archive for the ‘Yeah and I’m Boo Boo the Fool’ Category

You gave what was needed before even asked.

How you knew puts me to task

We never spoke…still haven’t. Yet you’re always right on time with a clever poke

Silence is not for lack of desire quite the contrary its a roaring fire

The longer it takes the stronger the need grows

Which is not a good thing you have your own woes

I wish I had the energy for this undertaking

But I’m trapped in a nightmare of my own making

There’s no way out every route leads to destruction

You deserve love and sheer devotion.

I had the ability once and I guess I still do but faith, hope, and trust have been robbed and left me shattered and abused.

I’m not what we thought I was and seems I’ve never been

Else he would not have mocked and humiliated me to no end.

Oh yes, a new low has been established with twists and turns that far exceed our one quick burn.

Recovery is hard and something forever severed I’m no longer sure its worth the effort

I wish I knew what was in your heart what you desired of me

It would be so much easier to act accordingly

But alas you’ve grown as quiet as me so I have to just let things be

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Understanding so much and so little at the same time

What’s yours is still yours and you also claim mine.

Now its come out I was an even bigger fool than before

The last one in on it the last to know more

So concerned with what I was doing and who I was with

While you’re out parading and galavanting like I don’t mean shit

Someone spoke up for me and even it wasn’t enough

No one tells you what to do because you’re so tough.

The damage done is worse than I thought

I now have to decide of I’m staying or not

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What is left for me to say or feel?

You bash and berate and leave me no appeal.

I’m useless, worthless, trash that never stands up you never done anything

You say I make you feel like a fool.

You tell me to my face I’m not attractive, nasty tramp who you try to pimp out to all in your camp.

Vows and promises made can’t be kept since its been announced I’m a wretch.

Ashamed of what all has been said

I had no idea and makes me wish I were dead

Imprisoned in a relationship of one sided love cannot leave for fear of two boys.

What will be said to them of their mother in her absence

Subtle and behind the lines all to make sense

Unwanted behaviors and actions couldn’t possibly come from you

Put them all on me for being a fool.

What of the girls who’ve already lost one mother

Struggling day after day listening to your brother!

Silly nicknames, words of disrespect and slander

And yall let him go on like it doesn’t matter.

I don’t understand this family of yours so much hateration and much more

What I’ve gotten myself into there’s no way out except death

But I’ve been called to do many more things and haven’t started yet

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misunderstood muse

misunderstood muse

Wow! Here we go! One hell of a line…all shiny like new money, “Come with me he’s not worth your time.”

The grass is always greener the get what you want and you become meaner!

Are you happy? Do you want to leave? Does he love you, do you believe?

What about what I want? What about what I need? No one ever asks those questions they’re too hard to heed.

To own me and control me that’s what they want, a trinket a trophy to flash and flaunt.

Knowing me means loving me this much I understand. Most people draw a line in the sand.

Some chose to dance to the song, but never seem to last for long. I give so much and all are willing to take none are willing to think of the sacrifices I make.

I can’t change who I am or how I deal I can only express how I feel. The list continues to grow those things I need and want.

Someone will some day ask although it seems doubtful at this point.

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Just because I ask something of you does not mean you’re lacking or dumb..dear LORD I’m tired of this run!

Everything is taken so personal and puts you on defense its childish stupid and makes no sense.

I give all of me without question with happiness and undying devotion and its thrown back in my face and then I’m shunned.

I only want to love you and share a life together but its not enough and you always tell me I could do better.

Nothing I do is ever good enough you’re overly critical no care concern or consideration just bitterness.

Maybe I should just stop asking for what I need I feel I’m a burden not your wife or even a person you see.

Everything that’s mine is yours and everything that’s yours is yours nothing left for me

Not even a measure of safety or security…

© 2012 Slave Free Zone

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Adam was the first man…or was he?

Religion has taught us one story while in school we learn of another. Both seem to contradict each other but is it really a contradiction? Why are we willing to accept the idea of an ultimate creator but deny one of its creations? If God is the creator of everything then that includes science right?

Proverbs 30:5-6

5 Every word of God proves true;
   he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
6 Do not add to his words,
   lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.

 

Believers take comfort in this particular scripture and accept it on faith that man will not add to, change, or tamper with “God’s Word” in any manner.  How do we know it wasn’t placed there by authors who knew all of it was a lie? The thought of this makes some of us extremely nervous. The very foundation of a belief system shaken because of a silly thing called science.

If God is the Creator of All, why does it even matter? People have a problem accepting the practicality of Darwin, but he may have been on to something. He speaks of man evolving physically from Neanderthals, Cro-Magnons, and Homo Sapiens blowing the lid off traditional thought of one source. Could there be elements of Darwin’s theory in Scripture?

Genesis 1:26

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 

According to science unforseen circumstances catapulted man to the top of the food chain. Is it hard to assume then, life didn’t go on as ‘God was creating it’ just as it does today or that we wouldn’t be able to tether a dinosaur to a leash? 

Genesis 2:1-3

1Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. 3So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

Can Christians accept this particular verse as proof that ‘humans’ were just created in first chapter and not anyone in particular? It would definately explain the gaping hole between the first verse and second verse of chapter 2 and why the story seems to repeat itself.  We have all the proof we need that Earth existed long before man whether it be six days or six millenia, so maybe consideration should be made for the language used instead of depending on a literal translation.

Most of us have depended on the expertise of someone else to translate and interpret various texts so that we may obtain meaning. What needs to be understood is more is involved in the process than matching word for word. What happens to ideas when there is no literal translation from language to language? What about comparative and relative language that is translated literally when an interpretation should be made because of cultural or regional differences? Will our descendants think we have magical powers while reading our texts in the future because of statements like He left in a flash or She appeared out of no where?

Were colloquialisms and regional dialects even considered? Could raining fire and brimstone be interpreted as an active lava flow descending from a mountain into an occupied valley, a pyroclastic explosion with a superheated debis field, or a combination of the two? It was enough to scare the life right out of Mrs. Lot.

Genesis 2:7

7 Then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Ecclesiates 3:18-20

18I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. 19For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. 20All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return.

Beast? Did I read that correctly? No advantage over the beasts…vanity? What is the major difference between man and beast?

Isaiah 52

1Awake, awake, put on your strength, O Zion; put on your beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city;  for there shall no more come into you the uncircumcised and the unclean.2Shake yourself from the dust and arise; be seated, O Jerusalem; loose the bonds from your neck, O captive daughter of Zion.

We can plainly see from Isaiah the meaning of dust is not necessarily dirt from the ground but maybe knowledge of God’s law and the meaning of creation. So what does that say for Eve? Scripture tells us she was created from Adam’s rib. Maybe she was a cousin or from a neighboring tribe, but Eve would have had to been enlightened or well on her way being described as a suitable help-mate for Adam.

Ezekiel 37:1-6

1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. 2And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold, they were very dry. 3And he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, you know.” 4Then he said to me, “Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry  bones, hear the word of the LORD. 5Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. 6And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD.”

This has a familiar tone for fans of the historial novel The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jane Auel. Ayla is a Cro-Magnon five-year old orphaned in the aftermath of an earthquake. Too young to care for herself, she adopted by a Neanderthal tribe driven from their cave by the same earthquake. It maybe fiction, but this story depicts the physical, social, and psychological differences between the species as the child grows to womanhood giving the reader a clue as to how life may have been for an awakening Adam and Eve.

This brings new meaning as to what could have happened in the garden doesn’t it? There is scientific proof the different species of man coexisted together, but is there biblical proof? Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden because they ate of the tree in the midst of the garden. What kind of tree?

Ezekiel 31:3-9

3Behold, Assyria was a cedar in Lebanon, with beautiful branches and forest shade, and of towering height, its top among the clouds. 4The waters nourished it; the deep made it grow tall, making its rivers flow around the place of its planting, sending forth its streams to all the trees of the field. 5So it towered high above all the trees of the field; its boughs grew large and its branches long from abundant water in its shoots. 6All the birds of the heavens made their nests in its boughs; under its branches all the beasts of the field gave birth to their young, and under its shadow lived all great nations. 7It was beautiful in its greatness, in the length of its branches; for its roots went down to abundant waters. 8 The cedars in the garden of God could not rival it, nor the fir trees equal its boughs; neither were the plane trees like its branches; no tree in the garden of God was its equal in beauty. 9I made it beautiful in the mass of its branches, and all the trees of Eden envied it, that were in the garden of God.

Tree is an obvious metaphor for a country or city-state within an empire (forest). We learn from scripture the serpent tricked Eve into committing a sin she later shares with Adam. A violation so grave they are immediately evicted from (the empire-forest) Eden. Adam would have build his own nation as did Cain after he murdered his brother.

This new revelation of Adam makes me wonder. What happened to the other ‘trees’ in the garden? Is science our proof that God really does exist?

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The Los Angeles Times is reporting she also owes $50,000 in students loans, but she has $165,000 for IVF treatments. She stated in her interview she didn’t expect public assistance to help her financially, but she has a website where she is soliciting donations!

Is this a case of selfishness? Pride? Mental illness? What happens to 14 children while their mother, who clearly has some psychological issues, figures out what to do now? Nadya Suleman is single, has no job, lives with her (older) parents, and now has 14 children. What’s wrong with this picture?

Before the anti-abortionists begin to rally, no one is saying she should have eliminated them. Personally once I had had the six, I would have donated the remaining embryos to other couples who might would have wanted them. There were countless solutions to this particular dilemma, and she ignored all of them.

I guess its not too late for her to put them up for adoption, but that isn’t for us to say. As taxpayers there are many other things to consider when looking at how this supposedly occured. Where did she get the funds to support multiple trips to a fertility clinic?

Suleman said she had saved money and used some of the more than $165,000 in disability payments she received after being injured in a 1999 riot at a state mental hospital where she worked. She also told NBC that she does not intend to go on welfare, though her publicist confirmed Monday that Suleman already receives food stamps and child disability payments to help feed and care for her six other children.

Well this explains her employment status! Money she saved, disability payments from a previous job for the state, disability payments for disabled children (from the previous IVFs), and food stamps. According to this article she went on disability in 1999, and exactly ten years later she’s the mother of octuplets!

State of California wants to know where all their money is going? Investigations have begun into the practice of the doctor, but what about the Welfare Department? Cracks aren’t supposed to be this big! This woman managed to save over $165,000 in income from a state job, and for the bulk of that income she didn’t WORK!!

I don’t know about you, but it sounds like the biggest welfare scam in history to me! She claims she’s fixated on having children, but her mother says she visted a different doctor for this procedure. How were her parents able to convince the other specialist not to treat her again? California is the Vanity Medicine Capitol of the U.S., so we know money talks louder than aging parents.

Angela Suleman said Nadya’s boyfriend was the biological father of all 14 children, but that she refused to marry him. “He was in love with her and wanted to marry her,” she said. “But Nadya wanted to have children on her own.”

What happens to a welfare scheme if there is a man involved? She only wanted a sperm donor?

The State of California has been in fiscal trouble for a long time and the citizens have been fully aware. I know this because of the ramblings of family members who live there. It would seem to me someone who is soley dependent on the state for income for herself and for her children would need to ‘step up their game’.

I don’t know who this woman thinks she’s fooling. but I’m not falling for it…at least not yet. Something is very wrong here. I would suggest a neuro-psychological evaluation to make sure she wouldn’t harm to these children. I don’t mean to sound judgemental, but she herself admitted she put her life and the lives of her children in danger to satisfy this insatiable need for a large family.

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